Today is my Mr. Smith’s birthday.
It is our tradition that the birthday person gets to choose their birthday dinner and their birthday cake. Well, except my father, he gets vetoed every year by my mother.
The conversation goes like this:
Mom: What do you want for your birthday dinner?
Dad: I think I would like Spaghetti and Meatballs.
Mom: No, I’m not making that. I don’t like it.
Mom: What did you want for your birthday cake?
Dad: I think I want Coffee Cake.
Mom: No, that isn’t a real birthday cake.
And there you have it. So then I have to step in and make the Spaghetti and Meatballs and the Coffee Cake because unlike some people (yes Mom, I am looking right at you), I think you should get what you want for your birthday dinner and your birthday cake. Some things are not veto-able.
So, Mr. Smith has been asking for a cake with fudge on top for approximately two years. I have been avoiding making this because I hate the fudge recipe (it is Alton Brown’s and let’s face it, the guy is a tool) and I was sure it would land in one giant lump and crush the cake into wafer.
By the way, I almost fell off the chair while taking this picture. Those are the kinds of risks I take to document this stuff for you kids!
I was trying to gird my loins to pour the fudge (yes, I am talking about fudge candy that you make with a candy thermometer and the whole deal) onto the cake. I had visions of disaster and was avoiding it until the last possible second.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you,
After tasting it, Mr. Smith said, “All cakes should have fudge on them. The chocolate chips in the cake were a mistake, but all cakes should be topped with fudge.”
Did you get that?
He feels that the goddamn chocolate chips IN the cake were the part that pushed it over the richness limit.
NOT THE FACT THAT IT IS FREAKIN TOPPED WITH GODDAMN CANDY!
He will be doing his own cooking from here on out.
FYI, this cake comes with a Big Gulp of insulin.