This morning when we were dropping His Majesty off at preschool, Mr. Eagle Eye spotted a heavily tattooed dad, leaning against his wildly expensive Jaguar (I know, I know, this is “The OC”, don’t even try to understand the shit that goes on here) having a cigarette.
Grand Master H (in full stage voice, pointing right at the poor guy): THAT GUY IS SMOKING!
Me: Okay, H. He’s an adult. He made a choice, he’s allowed to smoke.
Grand Master H: ADULTS ARE ALLOWED TO SMOKE?!?!
Me: Yes, if they make that choice, they are allowed to smoke.
Grand Master H (he is now out of the car, insert your own very sinister, ultra right-wing, judgmental voice here): He made a choice. He’s gonna die!
How is it even possible that I gave birth to a Pilgrim?
Wait, this is the same kid that firmly believes that clothing is optional.