The Lack of Sleep Report

I know. You are all sick of hearing about the lack of sleep around here.

I am sick of talking about it. I am sick of feeling hung over all the time, even when I did not have a single drink.

Last night Mr. Smith and I went to The Improv to see Patton Oswalt. Which, for normal people, would not be a problem.

We are not normal people.

The evening started out with me having a fit because I thought we were going to be late.  I have a little problem with being late. Okay, I have a big problem with being late. I am a basket case if I think we might be late or miss something because we arrive late.

We did not have time to have dinner before the show because Mr. Smith was stuck on the marathon tech support call of all time (2+ hours!). I got ready and, in the grand tradition of my father and grandfather, sat and fumed.

I might need help.

So then we arrive at the venue…45 minutes early.

Yeah, I pretty much suck.

Sorry Mr. Smith

We were able to get a KILLER table, very close, but not too close. We were able to eat a little something before the show.

Dana Gould opened for Patton and they were both hilarious. It was very funny and, all in all, a nice night out.

Except that it is a school night. And we are old people that are usually in bed by 8 pm. You know, because most mornings we are up before 4 am. Kind of limits your nightlife.

We were driving home by about 10 pm. Which would have been fine, except the freeway was shut down because of a fatal accident. It took us over an hour to get home.

We finally were home and falling into bed. All’s well that ends well, right?

Not in this house.

11:15 pm – Grand Master H, with no warning whatsoever, whips open our door. I had just drifted off. Suddenly, he is in the room talking to me. I have no idea what he said. I took him back to his room, put him in his bed and I fell into the other bed in his room.

12:12 am – Grand Master H is up, tripping over toy cars in his room, heading for the door. I tell him he can’t get up, he needs to go back to sleep. He reluctantly gets back in bed.

1:23 am – Once again, Grand Master H is on the move. He wants to get up. Holy shit this kid is like a Whack-A-Mole!

3:23 am – Finally, he gives up trying to make a break for it and gets into bed with me. Lucky me. I get to forego the comfort of a Queen Size bed to share a single bed with a preschooler.

4:45 am – Grand Master H is sleeping on his stomach. He bursts out laughing, in his sleep. I have a hard time staying asleep and I am having weird dreams/nightmares.

5:30 am – I lay awake, not moving because I don’t want to wake H. Slowly he wakes up and we head downstairs.

As a gift, Archie decides he needs a pet of his very own. He does this without consulting anyone and brings a lizard in from the front yard. He brings it into the kitchen, when the lizard attempts an escape from his captor, Archie attacks.

When I turn around to see what the commotion is about, there are two lizard parts (1 tail, 1 body…ewww!) squirming on the floor.

He looks deadly, doesn’t he?

Is there enough coffee to recover from this?

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