On a more humorous note…

and believe me, I am aware that this will most certainly qualify as TOO MUCH INFORMATION, but this strikes me funny and I have to share it.

Sorry I was such a downer earlier.

Read fast, I may delete this post any minute.

Okay, so I went to get the luxurious massage because my neck had been bothering me for about a week. Both sides at the base of my neck, like I had been attacked by an especially aggressive Ultraman imposter. You know, two karate-type chops, on either side of my neck?

Yeah, not so much.

Turns out, if you, hypothetically, are too lazy to put a bra on in the morning, each and every morning, say for instance because you are  awakened by a screaming toddler at about 2:30 am…FOR THE DAY…you may or may not, hypothetically experience severe neck pain from your hypothetically HUGE mommy boobs.

I’m just sayin’.

I always like to throw in a little Dolly, for the guys, when I share too much. Don’t you?

And then, if you decide to make these

because your son with the metabolism of a hummingbird is desperate for some chocolate cupcakes with chocolate frosting. So, you find the Pioneer Woman recipe and make them and make the ganache and then you have to turn on the garbage disposal (the switch is behind where the cupcakes were slathered in chocolate ganache) and right about that time, your giant mommy boob (hypothetically the right one) drags her bad self RIGHT THROUGH THE DAMN GANACHE!

And finally, as if all of this humiliation were not enough, last night was the final insult.

I was making dinner. I had all four burners going on the stove. That usually only happens on Turkey Day.

So, I lean forward to stir something on the back right burner (you guessed it) and Big Rightie (that is what I am calling her now) gets to close to a jet of steam and HOLY SHIT…she got steamed through my shirt and my bra and hot, hot and…

OWWWWWWWW!!!!

You can imagine the yelling right?

And that is how Big Rightie became Big Red…that and the Winnie the Pooh Boo Boo Buddy Ice Bag I had to wear in my bra the rest of the night.

So endeth the lesson for today.

Protect the ladies. Let’s be careful out there girls!

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