Until the night before the sonogram, your father had me convinced that we were going to have another boy. That night, I dreamed about you throughout the night. Every dream had a song with your name in it for a soundtrack. After that, I just knew. I knew you were the little girl I had dreamed about before the technician ever touched the wand to my belly. I was completely calm because I knew, in my heart, what the sonogram would reveal. There was no more doubt left for me.
“Do you want to know the gender?”, she asked right away.
“Absolutely!”, we said.
“Yup, definitely a little girl.”
That was pretty much the last day you ever cooperated with us.
I have never known anyone like you. You are the most stubborn, headstrong, willful person I have ever met. Okay, other than myself.
I have worried and fretted over you since the moment the pregnancy test was positive. The little message in a bottle you sent to let us know you were in there could not have come at a worse time. We were not ready for you, but apparently, you were ready for us. You are not one to wait. Ever. For anything.
I worried that you were in trouble in there. I worried that you were never going to know what a happy family could be like. We were at an all time low point and you were my ray of hope. You and your brother were the thing that kept me going at that dark time in our lives. I had to be brave for both of you, no matter how scared I was.
You are so little and that is too much responsibility for you to carry.
You are my last baby and some days you make me glad we made that decision. You are a handful.
And then there are the days when you are enchanting. Early in the morning when you have me all to yourself and you are funny and sweet, those are the times that make me regret the decision to not have any more children.
You have a grandmother you have never met. Luckily, there are other women eager to fill her empty shoes, and much more ably, I might add. I hope that you cherish these women the way that I have cherished them. They have so much to teach both of us.
You are a dedicated, fierce contrarian. “No, I don’t want it!” is a familiar refrain from you. Even if it is something you do want. Even if it is something you just asked us to get for you. I have never been forced to argue with someone so young, so frequently.
You have the most beautiful khaki/brownish/goldish/bluish eyes that sparkle when you get that naughty little look on your face, which is frequently.
I could watch you all day while you figure everything out. You are scary smart and bossy in the extreme. I figure you will be running a small country before you are eighteen. I am already penning the letter of apology to your future boyfriends. I can only imagine what they will face when dealing with you.
Even though you have a tough candy coating, you are filled with a soft nougat center. You love just as fiercely as you argue.
You are one of the best snugglers I have ever met. I could watch you sleep for hours (assuming you would). I love when you wake up, your cheeks are pink and scored with sleep wrinkles and your hair is chaotic. You put your head on my shoulder and wrap you chubby little arms around my neck. You make me forget how pissed I was that you woke me up at 2:45 and I will be a zombie reanimated by coffee for the rest of the day. You make me thankful that I have that time with you, just the two of us.
You are the person that turned our family from three to four. You have made our family whole. I will be forever thankful that you fluttered into our lives.
I love you, my sweet girl. I can’t wait to see what the next two years hold!