Today is the fourth anniversary of me going into labor. We walked the halls for hours, waiting and waiting. I told you we were in it together until the bitter end. I was so afraid, but glad to know that you were with me, even then.
Twenty two loooooong hours later I gave birth to 8 lbs. and 5 ozs. of baby boy.
I will never ever forget holding you for the first time. You looked right at me. You were wide awake and so curious! Where has the time gone and how can I get it back?
We had a spectacular ocean view. I watched gloomy thunderstorms roll in over the sea from our safe little nest. You slept under blue lights and I watched horrible television because I couldn’t sleep. I was wide awake waiting for the tiniest peep from you. Ever vigilant in case you should need me.
I hated having you that far away from me. You had been with me for nine months and it felt so unnatural to have you sleeping in another bed or in an plastic box across the room.
Not long after you were born, I asked you to be patient with me. I was a new mother and we would have to learn how to do this together. I promised you I would try my hardest to be the best mother possible.
We have had our disputes, arguments, scary moments even. You have tested me in ways that I never could have foreseen.
I have been in love with you since the day I saw the first frantic little flicker of your heart on the ultrasound.
You are truly my favorite little boy in the whole world. You have taught me so much in your four short years. Every day you are more and more of a revelation and a joy. You have made me see the fun of everything again with your boundless enthusiasm.
It is such an honor and a blessing to be your mother. Thank you for being my son, my first child. I am still learning and still trying very hard to be the wonderful mother that you deserve. Some days I do better than others. But you are always willing to give me another chance.
So tonight I put my three year old son to bed for the last time. Tomorrow I will have a four year old son. I know it won’t really be any different, but somehow, everything will be different. Just a little different with each passing day as you grow up and grow away. Just don’t grow up too fast, please?
So tomorrow I will try not to cry since I know it upsets you. I will give you your chocolate cake with chocolate frosting as requested. I won’t forget to get your milk. I will hug, cuddle and kiss you as much as you will let me for as long as you will let me.
I love you, Batman. Stay as sweet as you are.